The Santa Ana Winds and Me

In one of my favorite movies, "The Holiday," the character, Miles, says, "Santa Ana winds...all bets are off...anything can happen"  and it is just that which I am hoping for next week when I venture to San Diego. 

Will the Staten Island Ferry get me there any faster than Continental from EWR?

The Santa Anas blow into Southern California beginning around October and ending around January.  These just so happen to also be my favorite months to visit So Cal.  Along with the warm wind that blows in to blanket the cool harbor nights, comes a feeling of preparation and renewal - a glimmer of hope in a city that I can't believe would ever need anymore glimmering.

When I go to San Diego, I get into the lifestyle.  I drive a convertible, which I would not dream of doing here in Jersey.  I drink tequila, straight, and lots of it.  I lay bac, chill out and get into the "hang ten" laid back Cali lifestyle.  I dress casually, in flip flops and white after Labor Day. I don't whine, complain, or worry.  And the entire time I'm there, I plan my return to the place where I can truly let loose

If my life wasn't so settled with family, friends, work, and school here in Jersey (the state that I love so much, I've got a necklace and several Jersey Royalty sweatshirts that blast my enanmourment of it emblazened in bling), I'd be on the first westbound 737 out of Newark with no return ticket. I would hope my vacation lifestyle in San Diego would be  similar to my daily lifestyle there, but worry that work, stress, traffic, and firestorms (the worst weather phenom in the SD area) would interupt my California Dreamin'.  But to me, even though I've been at a Chargers came when it was flurrying, it never rains in Southern California, so I'm going back to Cali, again and again and again and...

September 11th, 2001: my reflection

I usually like to keep things fluffy on here but I think if I put this in writing, maybe I can release it from creeping back into my mind each year when we mark the anniversary of that terrible day. Bear with me as I reflect on those 24 hours, as seen through my eyes.

I was a Resident Hall Director at Mitchell College in New London, Connecticut.  It's a school primarily comprised of students with learning differences and some mental and physical disabilities.

That Tuesday morning started like any other: me rushing around my apartment to get ready to head to upper campus for our department meeting.  i received a phone call that morning from my boyfriend at the time who told me, "Turn on the news! Some idiot just crashed a plane into the World Trade Center."  This was 8:46am, 14 minutes until our staff meeting.

I headed up to campus and found the majority of those who would've been attending my meeting gathered around the TV in the lounge of Saunders Hall.  At this time, the second plane hit, as we all watched.

As the only Jersey girl who grew up within the shadow of the NYC skyline on staff, I was handed a paper roster and a highlighter to go through the lists to find any students on campus who are from the NJ/NY/CT tri-state area who could have had family members working in the towers that day.  My heart began to pound as I quickly realized just how much bright yellow ink I was putting down on that piece of paper.  We had a potentially big problems on our hands at our tiny little school.

We were informed to make ourselves visible in our residence halls for the duration of the day, and to keep a TV or radio tuned in for news updates.  As the situation became abundantly clear that this was indeed an attack on our country, we were informed to tell our residents to check in and out with us if they were heading off campus, so we were able to account for anyone at anytime. 

My CITY, my VIEW, my COUNTRY, and my PEOPLE were under attack. I wasn't there; couldn't have gotten there if I had to, after all, all the bridges and tunnels were closed.  After many attempts, I was finally able to speak to my grandmother on the phone briefly and then a few minutes later I reached my mom.  I knew they were okay so life could go on.

My responsibility was for four Victorian homes along the waterfront of the Thames River, filled with about 100 students.  The weather that day was impeccable - a nice breeze and a perfect 76 degrees.  I set up a table on the front porch of one my homes and watched through the open window as Dan Rather reported there was another plane missing and a fire at the Pentagon. 

Our campus's location on Thames River put us just upstream from the Groton Naval Sub Base and the US Coast Guard Academy and directly across the river from General Dynamics' Electric Boat divisions - where they manufacture nuclear-powered submarines.  There was enough concentrated nuclear energy on that little river to pose an extreme threat.  The base was mobilized and one by one the subs in port went out to sea.  100 miles west of our military community, the Towers fell.

Throughout the day I spoke with residents about news updates, asked of their families, calmed their worries about classes going on, and immersed myself in their needs as well as Dan Rather's reports.  

My only break from the TV was to go back to upper campus for a quickly-put-together prayer service.  Our religiously diverse campus all gathered in one all-purpose room, on folding chairs around a piano that hadn't been tuned in years, and prayed, sang, and cried together with one voice of worry and heartache.  It didn't matter if you were a Dean, Professor, student with traumatic brain injury, visually or audibly impaired, everyone was experiencing the same level of heartache and confusion at that time.

I don't remember what I ate that day; I actually don't think I did.  I remember what I wore and never wore that outfit again - not like that helped.  When nightfall came upon us I retired to my apartment and turned on my TV to see more of the latest news - none of it any better than 14 hours earlier.  At 11pm on September 11th, I cried for the first time all day. After having taking care of my residents all day, my shield wore away and it was time to take care of myself.  It was my turn to process the day.

I didn't sleep much that night. Out of the three bedrooms in my apartment, I stayed on my couch because it was the fastest way out of my apartment in an emergency and the thought of closing my eyes and not knowing if something would attack us in the darkness of night never allowing me to open them again scared me beyond sleep.  So I laid there, listened to the familiar sound of Dan Rather's voice, prayed, shivered, and cried, waiting for the sun to rise again and hoping it was all just a really long, bad dream.

At the end of the day, the community of Mitchell College lost a little girl enrolled in our early childhood care center on campus and her mom.  While gravely unfortunate, we had no student's immediate family lost and that was a rarity for schools in the tri-state area.

This year, and every year, as beacons shine from Ground Zero, names of the lost are read, and life in this area slows down to remember, I will recall yellow highlighters, the breeze blowing off the Thames, submarines, and Dan Rather, and be thankful, today and always, for the men and women who defend our country and its interests here at home and overseas.

Run, Velveeta, RUN!

Over the course of 2010, I have taken on a new hobby: running.

Those of you who have known me all my life can stop laughing now.

Confession: I was never a runner. When I played softball my plan was to hit the ball far so I could get on base. I am SLOW. Still am.

But in 2010 I got on a bit of a health kick, not to fit into skinny jeans, but to fit into my heart once again. (Winded and sweating from one flight of stairs is soooo not cute.)

By the grace of technology, I found an app called C25k for my precious pink iPhone. C25k is a running program that trains you on how to go from basically being a couch potato to running a 5k, in the course of 9 weeks, through interval training. It prompts you to switch between walking and running with the sound of a chime and some bossy guy saying "walk" or "run." Each week the running time lenghthens and the walking time shortens, all during the course of about 30-40 minutes.

10 weeks (weather and humidity got in the way of my on time graduation) after my download, I was able to successfully run for a half hour straight. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me. Now I am easily able to run the 3.1 miles a 5K consists of and I am no longer winded or sweaty when climbing stairs (and about 40lbs cuter.)

This Saturday I will (try to) run my first official 5K. With the love and support of so many people around me, I will venture into the crowds for the Union County MusicFest Rock & Run and (attempt to) finish a 5K in public amongst other runners.

Things going through my head that I need to brain dump here before they get in the way of me completing my 5K:
1. Running with other people - Ask my friend, Kristina: I run alone.
2. Running with other people who are faster than me - Which is pretty much everyone.
3. Running with other people who have done this before - Where do I sign up? How do I wear one of those paper taggy things? What happens if I trip? What side of the road do I stay on? I feel like a freshmen on the first day of college.
4. Running so slow I lose the pack and get lost - They'll have signs, right??
5. Hills - 'Nuff said.
6. Being the last person at the finish line - Actually, just hoping that I get to the finish line.

I've run my share of 3.1 mile runs; three this week actually. Never with an audience, never with fellow runners, and never with this much support behind me to see me finish! So, with my trusty old Saucony's, favorite SHU shorts, dry-fit t-shirt given to me by my friend Kim (an Olympic track coach) and my mom standing on the sidelines, I just hope I don't blink as they take my picture running across the finish line! 

...Came back to edit this a few minutes later when reality struck me.  Thousands of innocent people lost their lives 9 years ago Saturday. What's a measly 3.1 miles?  Remember, ...always.

My not-so-Amish life: 48 Hours in my pre-2000 techno world

"I feel like a pilgrim from the friggin’ 20’s washing sh*t right now."

- Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jersey Shore Season 2

Ok maybe it wasn't quite as bad as Snooki had it when she had to wash all of her roommate's clothes in the sink, but it was definitely an experience. One that my millennial boyfriend, Erich, couldn't quite grasp. "What are you, Amish?" was his exact response when I told him about my 48 Techno Cleanse. What follows are the details of my life over the course of the past 48 hours, and a glimpse into a small trip back in time to a world I remember as less cluttered and more anonymous.

It's no lie August in higher education is the busiest month, all because it takes a lot of people in a lot roles to open a university. The usual 35 hour (32 hours in the summer during summer hours) work weeks turn into 60-70-80 hour weeks as soon as you flip your calendar page to August. Most of these hours are spent in front of your computer: registering, assigning, billing, creating, enrolling, training, or responding to students, parents, families, coaches, vendors, and colleagues. It's just as much invigorating as it is exhausting as with a new school year comes the feeling of a fresh start filled with ideas as new as a freshman's bed linens.

My role at work has recently taken a huge swing towards the use of technology. Everything from administering our housing assignment software to running online student-serving processes and creating video blogs for families has fallen into my hands. I absolutely love it because it allows me an outlet for expressing my creativity that was feeling a bit stifled for a few years. But with all the new toys (Mac Powerbook and Sony Bloggie, to name a few) I get to play with at work, came a feeling of over-exposure to the electronic world. One filled with stress (wait, what's my password to our department Facebook page?), over stimulation (no really, what is it?), and a desire to shut down and restart (I don't know what my boss' mother's maiden name was when she had her first pet!! Just give me my password!) Inspired by a Tweet I read from Ann Curry one day, I chose to use two days of this Labor Day weekend to do a little techno cleansing.

The rules: 48 hours (11:59pm Friday night - 11:59 Sunday night) of no technology invented after the year 2000. Meaning: no social networking (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube...) texting (sending or receiving), GPS, apps (because back then, there wasn't "an app for that"), cell phones (yes they were around, but most plans were for emergencies only), email synced to phone, (I usually shut off my work email sync on long weekends anyway), iPod/iTunes (I think we used Napster illegally back in those days), digital cameras (we thought one hour photo places were pretty fantastic) and DVR (there was a time we actually had to watch commercials.)

And so with one last Facebook status update to inform all 471 of my closest (huh?) Facebook friends of my plans so no one would send a search party for me and the courage from a few sips of a Skinny Girl Margarita, I began my cleanse.

Here are the notes I kept of my thoughts, reflections, cravings, and happenings, as written with an actual ballpoint pen on notebook paper:

Day One:
11:13pm - Checked Facebook one last time and had 2 "likes" and seven flabbergasted comments of a mix of disbelief, envy, & support of my announcement of my Techno Cleanse.

11:59pm - Cleanse begins, I go to sleep (that'll be an easy eight hours down, right?)

8:38am - Woke up. Wanted to check iPhone for responses from text sent during the night before. Saw it was nice outside and wanted to check phone for temperature. Also wanted to do my daily "lay in bed and see what the rest of the world has been up to on Facebook and Twitter while I've been asleep." Could do any of this. Frustrated, I turned on my old reliable information source of most of the aforementioned items. Looked for the temperature in NYC that I remembered always being in the bottom right corner of the screen. Ironically enough, that real estate's been sold to the highest bidders: the Facebook "F" and the Twitter "T". Looked harder for the temperature and finally found it on the bottom left corner after getting up from my bed and walking closer to my TV. (My heavy use of computer screens and small iPhone displays has really wreaked havoc on my formerly 20/20 vision and my Coach glasses were buried too far down in my purse in the living room to me to retrieve at that hour and that low a level of caffeination.) Got up and had a morning Coca-Cola and called Erich (me on a landline, him on his iPhone.) Pulled out my Crock Pot cookbook and got ready to cook. Any culinary adventure of mine would usually have been something Facebook status-worthy but my inability to do so is what led to this journaling project.

9:05am - Had to actually get up from where I was sitting to write to check the time. Wondering if this should also include online shopping? Had idea for Newark Colleges Examiner blog, "Freshmen year - the first 48 hours in Facebook statues and how you SHOULDN'T respond."

10:07am - Decided to keep pen and notebook nearby.

10:30am - Chicken is cooking in Crook Pot. Cooking this chicken made me think of a teacher we had growing up who would also rotate in as the square dance caller in gym class back when square dance was an acceptable form of gym class (we really needed more archery, less square dance.) He used to since a song about chicken fat. Wanted to Facebook or text friends from high school to make them laugh with me about it. (Note: "make them laugh" - do they really need the intrusion into their world where they are probably surviving quite contently without recalling those awkward square dance days?) Called Mom instead to tell ehr chicken looks good. Plan to go to Ikea later but I'm not sure how late it's open today. Can't remember when Internet was invented so not sure I can go online and check store hours. (Just checked now as I'm typing this blog: 1992. That means it was safe to use during my Techno Cleanse)

10:58am - Want to go for a run. Usually run with music on my iPhone and using my Couch to 5K app. Can't. Going to trying running without music or app.

11:16am - Realized without handy technology like an iPhone in my pocket, I'm forced to think things through a little harder and relearn some coping mechanisms I learned in time when you actually had to open a book to find out an answer. At this point I'm also realizing some flaws in my plan that I can't control: Caller ID comes with every phone now - I can't avoid it; remembering phone numbers just doesn't happen anymore - if it wasn't a phone number I memorized 20 years ago, it's not committed to memory; cable as we knew it pre-2000 is gone - it's all digital cable now, if it's not HD; and finally, I track all my runs on Nike+ - a gadget recently invented to capture running data such as mileage, pace, and calories - I'm NOT willing to sacrifice my running records a week before my first 5k.

11:20am - 12 hours down, 36 more to go. Realized I forgot to tell my friends who aren't on Facebook (really, there ARE people who aren't on Facebook - I know 2 of them) about my Techno Cleanse. Felt obligated to text them and explain but then realized there's no rules between us about how reachable we are. I kinda like being unreachable and the whole mysterious concept of "where's Cheryl? She didn't say she was going away this weekend." Off for my music-less run now. Still don't know how late Ikea is open; no internet + no catalogue (because those are all online now) = no Ikea phone #/no idea of store hours.

12:16pm - Just ran 3.11 miles (a 5k). Feeling good! It was nice to listen to the sounds of my town that I feel like I never hear: church bells, someone diving into the community pool, noon siren, dad coaching kids at soccer. I used this as my soundtrack and motivation. I ran to the beat of my own combination of respiration and cognition. Funny how my mind seemed clearer without the fist pumping beats of the Jersey Shore soundtrack being pumped into my brain. I can't plug in my Nike+ because at this point in my cleanse, I'm afraid I'll be too tempted to stray over to my biggest weakness: Facebook. Plus, Nike+ Tweets my runs automatically and Tweeting would be breaking my own rules. Decided to play it safe and go to Ikea at 3pm. Now, how do I get there without GPS or Google Maps?

2:02pm - Turned chicken down to warm. Trying to work on better penmanship like I used to have when "writing" was actually "writing" and not "typing." Thinking: my iPhone being pretty pink makes it all the more eye catching and tempting to me. Wondering: when were hair straighteners invented?

2:14pm - Realization: I'm doing things at a more relaxed pace and feeling less pressured. I'm much more focused - was this what life was like back in the pre-social media days? I realized while watching commercials on regular TV today how much the web and social networking sites are a driving force in our economy now. It's much easier to spend less money without the convenience of buying a song you just heard on the radio by using iTunes on your iPhone right at your side (with your debit card number conveniently stored so you don't even have to remember that!) Imagine if the entire internet shut down one day - no online shopping, gambling, or advertising could take place, resulting in a large percetage of our exconmy and money flow coming to a complete stop!

3:10pm - While I'm waiting for Erich to get here to take me to Ikea, here are some Facebook statuses I would've written today:

- ...is using my Crock Pot for the first time ever and wishing my apartment always smelled this yummy.

-...is doing what many other couples who live in a metropolitan area due on a Saturday - heading to Ikea.

-...is excited to buy and set up my new inspiration station/writing desk.

-...is being very productive today thanks to my technology cleanse.

8:45pm - Erich and I built my new Ikea chair and desk and it looks great! How ironic that I built a work station this weekend when I'm not doing any work on technology! I want to take a pic and share it on Facebook but I can't. Wondering, now, for really only the second time today, how many texts, Facebook messages, and voice mails I've accumulated?

11:59pm - It's been a complete 24 hours and I am done with 1/2 of my Techno Cleanse. Erich has been supportive of my cleanse even though he still doesn't understand it. We are going to a friend's house tomorrow where we've never been before. He's going to find out the address and figure out how to get there. I'd like to say I survived my first day and definitely am feeling a little more at peace with life/less-overextended. I have to admit, though, that I do miss knowing what everyone is up to tonight, even if I haven't spoken to them since 1997!

Day Two:

9:00am - Day #2 has begun. Woke up again with the thought of checking Facebook on my mind. I resisted. I did, however, give into the temptation as well as wondering if I received more information about our plans for tonight and turned on my cell phone to check texts. There were three - one from my AVP who responded to my text from 9:30pm on Friday night at 6:25am on Saturday. (I would NOT have been happy to hear a text come in at that hour!) The other two texts were from my former intern who invited me to present to her students on college fire safety. As flattered as I am, I'm now struggling inside about how to tell her no (for now) without making her feel like I don't appreciate the invitation. (My fall travel plans, wedding, and family events just won't allow me to squeeze in another commitment between now and 2011.) Not being connected to technology this morning has allowed me to play witness to the peacefulness of a Sunday morning in my neighborhood. I'm going to sip my caffeine and soak it all in and put worry from the text aside until I'm able to respond on Monday.

12:04pm - Just ran another 3.1 miles and plugged in my Nike+ (last night I had Erich plug in my Nike+ for me). I didn't use my iPhone again and felt great! On my mind: wanting to Facebook post that I ran two 5ks this weekend and wondering how to get to the town our plans are in tonight. 11 1/2 hours left. Missing being able to share news stories on Facebook that I feel people are in need of reading (whether or not they agree.)

12:55pm - More Facebook statuses I wish I could write:

-...is heading to D&B's for a BBQ and then to our friends' for another BBQ.

-...is loving PLJ's music this weekend - why can't they play music like this all the time?

-...is excited to stay up all night typing up these notes I've been keeping and turn them into a blog/article about Techno Cleansing.

-...is feeling great after my two 3.1 mile runs in this weekend's absolutely perfect weather.

(Phew, that feels better.)

1:15pm 0 I'm starting to think I just really like the click sound my iPhone makes when I unlock it. Good move, Apple.

9:24pm - Back from two BBQs. I agave Erich my phone and let him use my GPS to find the second one so I didn't use GPS. it was a very fun, technology-free day. I have 2 1/2 hours left of my Techno Cleanse and I feel like these will be the most difficult as Sunday night TV is never good and I have thing to do other clean my fish bowl.

11:29pm - Even more Facebook statuses I would like to be writing:

-...is thankful for long phone calls catching up with best friends.

-...is sad to say goodbye to my white capris and white pants until May.

-...had a delicious time at the BBQs today!

-...survived my 48 hour Techno Cleanse!!!

30 minutes left - time to clean the fish tank.

So 48 hours came and went without too much agony or inconvenience. Sure, I had a couple of cravings and even gave in once out of necessity, but I was able to find ways around my need for technology and make things work. Life went on very comfortably for me and the earth did crumble around me. Overall, I felt less pressure, more awareness, and more of a separation between work and home. Now, it's time for me to sign on. What was that password again?